


miss americana

by passthesaltzman



Category: Golden Boy (TV 2019), The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Gay Panic, golden boy is actually great go watch it, texas shelby in all her glory, toni isn't actually in this i just wanted people to be able to find it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:21:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29263452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passthesaltzman/pseuds/passthesaltzman
Summary: At what she sees, Kahu’s smirk drops immediately off her face and she freezes momentarily. Before Mitch could ask if the nudist colony was back in town or something, Kahu sprints behind the counter and drops at Mitch’s feet, eyes wide.“I’m not here.” Kahu looks up pleadingly. Never having seen Kahu act like this, Mitch opens her mouth to reply before being cut off by the dairy door opening.or the one where a newly settled shelby drops by the dairy and kahu totally does not like her...or her accent
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Kahu, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 19
Kudos: 137





	miss americana

**Author's Note:**

> no idea where this idea came from. i just think the concept is hilarious.

Mitch sits behind the corner at the dairy, messaging a guy she’d met on the dating app she had begrudgingly redownloaded the day before. She had recently shifted her settings to include men up to 100 miles away, and was mentally evaluating the cost of gas she’d use up if she traveled to Queenstown tomorrow night. If the messages she was receiving from this man were anything to go by, it would _definitely_ be worth it.

Kahu, who was restocking the energy bars on the shelves, wore a look of disgust at the expression on her sister’s face. “Can you not stare at your phone like that? It’s freaking the patrons out.”

Mitch looks up and around, settling a glare on the other girl. “There’s no one in here.”

Kahu smirks. “Ever think that’s the fault of the drool currently dripping from your mouth?” 

Mitch wipes her hands across her chin hastily and Kahu lets out a cackle at the sight. Mitch narrows her eyes at her sister, who smirks back and approaches the door at the sound of a car parking in the lot, curious to see if Aussie Dave was popping in so she could torment the other girl some more. 

At what she sees, Kahu’s smirk drops immediately off her face and she freezes momentarily. Before Mitch could ask if the nudist colony was back in town or something, Kahu sprints behind the counter and drops at Mitch’s feet, eyes wide.

“I’m not here.” Kahu looks up pleadingly. Never having seen Kahu act like this, Mitch opens her mouth to reply before being cut off by the dairy door opening.

A blonde girl around Kahu’s age steps through the door, glancing around the store before settling on Mitch behind the corner, immediately sending her a beaming grin.

“Well, hi there!” The girl approaches the counter without pretense, sticking out her hand with ease. “I’m Shelby and I’m new in town, but I’m sure you could tell that much. I must say I love this little shop you’re runnin’, it kinda reminds me of one of those corner stores in Texas, except y’all’s doesn’t smell of cheap beer and cigarette smoke, thank the lord.”

Mitch blinks in surprise at the kindred soul in front of her and tentatively takes the hand it's attached to. “Ah yeah, well thanks I guess. The shop is my mums’ and we’re not allowed to sell alcohol and such. We do sell kvass in the back over there, but I think they’re about 12 years past date, since that’s when the Slavs last rolled through.” 

A moment passes. Mitch clears her throat. “Anyway, is there something I can help you with?”

Shelby, who seemingly momentarily forgot why she’d arrived, jolts back into action. “Oh, right. I, um, well I actually was wonderin’ if Kahu worked here?”

Mitch can feel Kahu tense beneath her at the question, and she feels insistent tapping on her leg that is clearly begging her to lie to the girl in front of her. Mitch, a cunning smile already twisting onto her face, doesn’t glance down before answering in kind.

“Why yes, she does. Why do you ask?” At her response, she suddenly feels a jolt of pain stem from her calf, from where Kahu has just viciously pinched her. 

“Ouch!” Mitch glances down, meeting a hard glare fixed on her from below. She glances up once more at Shelby, who has her eyebrows knit in confusion. 

“Ah, sorry. Allergies.” Mitch blurts out the first excuse that comes to her head, to which she sees Kahu facepalm from her peripheral.

Shelby pushes forward. “Right. Well, do you happen to know when Kahu may next be workin’? I have somethin’ for her that I couldn’t give her at school earlier because she ran away when I approached. And let me tell you, she is mighty fast.” 

Mitch, fearing the retaliation of another pinch, decides to take pity on her sister. “Ah, no actually. I’m not sure when her next shift is.” 

Shelby’s face drops in disappointment and because the girl seems nice, despite being an American with an accent she’s only ever heard on trashy American reality TV like _Toddlers and Tiaras_ , Mitch decides to throw her a bone. “I could pass on whatever you wanted to give her though, when I see her next.”

Shelby shifts a little in nervousness at the prospect, but ultimately trains another pageant-winning smile towards the girl over the counter. “Why of course, that should work just fine.” She digs through her bag, pulling out a little paper that looks to have been carefully folded. Mitch raises her eyebrows as she spots a drawn heart on top.

Shelby flushes as she hands the paper over, but clears her throat and recovers quickly. “Well that's about all I needed, so I should be gettin’ home now. My aunt’s makin’ pizza and I gotta get back before she does somethin’ crazy like, god forbid, put pineapple on it. Thanks for passing that onto Kahu for me.” Shelby shuffles for a moment, as if she wants to say more, before heading to the door and throwing a wave behind her. 

The door to the dairy has barely closed before Kahu jumps up and shoves Mitch harshly. “What the eff, Mitch? Why the hell would you tell her I work here?”

Mitch, who shifts her gaze between the note in her hands and the irate girl in front of her, ignores her. “So Shelby, huh?”

Kahu’s face immediately reddens and her eyes cloud in irritation. “What about her?”

“Well, she’s certainly...American,” Mitch broaches carefully. “And she seems to have taken quite a liking to you.”

If possible, Kahu’s face gets even redder. Her jaw clenches. “Yeah, well. She’s also annoying and a total know-it-all and her hideous accent grates on my ears like Derek’s incessant teeth grinding. And don’t even get me _started_ on her perfume. She smells like she just stepped out of a tampon commercial where the girl is spinning in glee because she got her period.”

“Really? I thought she smelled nice. Like a winter’s day.” Mitch remarks, enjoying the uncharacteristically squirming girl in front of her.

“Exactly! Who smells like that? It’s unnatural and it’s weird and it’s totally unnecessary. Just like her.” Kahu looks away, not appreciating the knowing look Mitch is sending her way. 

“Right, well, what should I do about this then?” Mitch holds up the folded paper, raising an eyebrow at the flustered girl.

“Do whatever you want with it. I couldn’t care less.” Kahu crosses her arm in defiance, determined to prove whatever thoughts her sister has about the situation wrong. 

Mitch rose her eyebrows once again and Kahu grits her teeth at the condescension displayed. “Oh? So you wouldn’t mind if I just toss it here in the bin then?”

Kahu’s eyes flash briefly before she recovers. “Yeah, whatever. Do it.”

Mitch’s eyebrows reach her hairline. “Alright, if you’re sure…”

Mitch’s clenched hand raises in anticipation before she drops the paper into the bin and proceeds to kick it fully under the counter.

Kahu glances at the bin quickly before meeting her sister’s vaguely smug expression. “Alright then. Good.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Kahu fixes a glare at her sister once more before stomping off into the house. Mitch, still smug, turns back to her phone, invigorated by the prospect of _finally_ having some leverage over Kahu in their little daily back-and-forths.

And if Mitch sees Kahu rummaging through the bin on the security footage the next day, she’s sure not to miss the golden opportunity she’s been presented.

**Author's Note:**

> ok but imagine shelby saying kahu in her texas accent. swoon. 
> 
> not sure why i wrote this but i would be down to write more short isolated scenes of them in the future. i would probably only write them in contexts in which the show would depict them in because i think the show is actually amazing and the writing is gold. love the NZ humor. 
> 
> thanks for reading...whatever this was :)


End file.
